"The Last Song" is a new, teen-oriented romantic drama, starring Miley Cyrus and based on a book by Nicholas Sparks. Unsurprising and inoffensive, the movie is likely to delight sad young girls and bore bitter old critics.
But it’s even more likely to fascinate marketing students, because “The Last Song” is the story of two huge commercial brands — and two very different aims.
The Last Song (PG) Touchstone (107 min.) Directed by Julie Ann Robinson. With Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear, Bobby Coleman. Now playing in New Jersey.
Stephen Whitty's review: TWO AND A HALF STARS
Rating note: The film contains mild sensuality and violence.
The first product is the Nicholas Sparks Romance — and its trademarks have all been carefully preserved here. There’s the coastal Southern setting, the chaste young love that goes wrong, the character with the tragic secret, the unexpected reminder of mortality, the final uplifting ending.
The second product is smiley Miley Cyrus — but her well-known image has been just as carefully revamped. This is her first time not playing Hannah Montana, or herself, and the point is to present the not-quite-18 celebrity as a young adult, and a real actress.
The first brand comes off better than the second.
It’s easy to make fun of Sparks’ books, which often feel not so much written as word-processed. Yet their well-worn combination of survived tragedy and chaste love also, undeniably, works. (By the end of the screening, the young woman behind me was sobbing, happily.)
Cyrus is more problematic. It’s an awkward age for any actress, but she tries too obviously. Her attempts to be hard-edged and troubled just come off as bratty; coupled with her chipmunky appeal (and scratchy, untrained speaking voice), it’s the worst of both worlds.
And it doesn’t help that her on-screen (and apparently, off-screen) boyfriend is the lunky, Channing Tatum-Lite actor Liam Hemsworth. Or that their courting consists of him dousing her in milkshakes, or mud, or dropping her in giant aquariums, or hosing her off in the backyard. Get a room? More like get a towel.
The typically pleasant and underrated Greg Kinnear, though, is very good as Cyrus’ estranged father (the whisper-thin plot has her spending a summer with him). Young Bobby Coleman is excellent as Cyrus’ younger brother (he’s that rare creature, an adorable child actor who doesn’t know it yet) and newcomer Carly Chaikin plays the “bad girl” — always the best part — with an exciting mixture of wildness and vulnerability.
Halfway in, I began wishing desperately that Chaikin was playing the lead — but that wouldn’t have served either of the big brands behind this movie, both of which have their own aims. The Original Nicholas Sparks Romance Factory accomplishes its goals. The New Miley Cyrus Acting Company falls a bit shorter.
Stephen Whitty may be reached at swhitty@starledger.com or (212) 790-4435.