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Perl Poetry

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"Poetry" is in the eye of the beholder; it could be any of:
  • Poetry written in Perl
  • Using perl to generate poetry
  • Poetry about Perl/PerlMonks
New Poems
torturing xml until it breaks
on Sep 14, 2007 at 22:30
0 replies by simonodell
    [attempt]                  
      [impress_monks]      ## return : favourable|unfavourable|error upon
        <by>                ##          sending contents to perlmonks for 
           <posing>          ##           eval
              <a>                   
                 <prosaic>
                    <question>
                    
                      is this overkill?
                      
                    </>
                 </>
              </>       
           </>      ## note : </////>[//]?
        </>
      [/]
    [/]
    
    (case c="(result)attempt(/)")
      <favourable>[insertfile]thanks.xml[/]</>
      <unfavourable>[insertfile]appolgies.xml[/]</>
      <error>error during send</>
    (/)
    
    [response]
      <html>
        <head></>
        <body>Thank you [session]username[/]
           
          [result]case[/]
           
          Si.
        </>                 
      </>
    [/]
     
    <default>                     # default, always first
      [result](qd)action(/)[/]    # ?action=response
    </>
    
    

[Offer your reply]
apologies to Trent
on Sep 10, 2007 at 16:50
1 reply by -arc-

    I wrote some scripts today
    To see if this will work
    I focus on the screen
    Our PM is a jerk
    My mobile bleeps again
    the old annoying ring
    try to drown it in a cup
    but I can still hear everything

    What have I become?
    My geeky friend
    Everyone I know
    goes home in the end
    You can have it all
    My empire of Perl
    I will sit you down
    I will make you code

    I wear this iPod set
    upon my office chair
    All these broken tests
    I cannot repair
    Beneath the stains of tea
    Documents disappear
    You are in the pub
    I am still sat here

    What have I become?
    My geeky friend
    Everyone I know
    goes home in the end
    You can have it all
    My empire of Perl
    I will sit you down
    I will make you code

    If I could start again
    a million bytes away
    I would leave this job
    I would find a way...


[Offer your reply]
The New (computer) Testament
on Sep 05, 2007 at 01:35
1 reply by vcTheGuru

    1.1  In the beginning God created the bits
         and the bytes. He made word from them.
         Word had only two bits. 0 and one.
         God divided 1 from 0. And the evening
         and the morning were the first day.
    1.2  And God said, Let there be data: and
         there was data. He moved data to its
         [own] places. And the  evening
         and the morning were the second day.
    1.3  And God said, Let there be Floppy Drives,
         CD Drives and Hard Disk Drives. He
         created Computers to keep [these]
         Floppy Drives, CD Drives and Hard Disk
         Drives.
    1.4  And God called all these [as]
         Hardware. And the evening and the morning
         were the third day.
    1.5  And God made two major Output units,
         printers and monitors.
         Monitors displayed the soft copy and
         printers gave hard copy. He made keyboard,
         mouse and all other input and output units.
    1.6  And the evening and the morning were the
         fourth day.
    1.7  And God created all programs, small and big,
         servers and daemons, all of their kind,
         utilities and small programs, all of their
         kind and let them multiply and fill [
         in] the memory.
    1.8  And the evening and the morning were the
         fifth day.
    1.9  And God said, Let us make programmer in
         our image, after our likeness: and let
         them have dominion over the daemons of the
         servers, and over the utilities of the PC,
         and over the input/output units, and over
         all the computer, and over every thing
         that fills memory.
    1.10 So God created programmer in his [own
         ] image, in the image of God created
         he him; male and female created he them.
    1.11 And God blessed them, and God said unto
         them, Be fruitful, and use the computer,
         and subdue it: and have dominion over
         every software and hardware in the computer.
    1.12 And God saw every thing that he had made,
         and, behold, [it was] very good.
         And the evening and the morning were the
         sixth day.
    1.13 And on the seventh day God ended his work
         which he had made; and he rested on the
         seventh day from all his work which he
         had made.
    1:14 And God blessed the seventh day, and
         sanctified it: because that in it he had
         rested from all his work which God
         created and made.
    1:15 And the LORD God started a company eastward
         R&D center; and there he put the
         programmer whom he had formed.
    1.16 And the LORD God took the programmer, and
         put him into the R&D center; to manage
         it and to keep it.
    1.17 And the LORD God commanded the programmer,
         saying, Of every catalogue tree of the
         R&D center thou mayest freely use:
    1.18 But of the tree of the widows of wealth and
         power, thou shalt not use of it: for in the
         day that thou use thereof thou shalt surely
         fired.
    1.19 And the LORD God said, [It is] not
         good that the programmer should be alone;
         I will make him an help meet for him.
    
          
    1.20 And Programmer said, This [is] now
         bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh:
         she shall be called User, because she was
         taken out of Programmer.
    1.21 Now the Bill Gates was more subtil than
         vendors of the field which the LORD God
         had made. And he said unto the user, Yea,
         hath God said, Ye shall not use of every
         program of the Computer?
    1.22 And the user said unto the Gates, We may
         use of the programs of the Computer: But
         of the Program of the catalogue tree which
         [is] in the midst of the Computer,
         God hath said, Ye shall not use of it,
         neither shall ye touch it, lest ye fired.
    1.23 And the Gates said unto the user, Ye shall
         not surely fired: For God doth know that
         in the day ye use thereof, then your eyes
         shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods,
         having wealth and power.
    1.24 And when the user saw that the program
         [was] good for use, and that it
         [was] pleasant to the eyes, and a
         program to be desired to make [one]
         rich & powerful, she took of the program
         thereof, and did install & use, and gave
         also unto her programmer with her; and he
         did install & use.
    1.25 And the eyes of them both were opened, and
         they knew that they [can] play games;
         and they installed games together, and played
         all the day.
    1.26 And they heard the voice of the LORD God
         walking in the R&D center in the cool
         of the day: and Programmer and client were
         searching for drivers.
    1.27 And the LORD God called unto Programmer, and
         said unto him, What [art] you looking
         for?
    1.28 And he said, I heard thy voice in the R&D
         Center, and I was afraid, because I [was
         ] missing drivers.
    1.29 And he said, Who told thee that thou [are]
         missing drivers? Hast thou used windows, whereof
         I commanded thee that thou shouldest not use?
    1.30 And the programmer said, The client whom thou
         gavest [to be] with me, she gave me of
         the program, and I did install.
    1.31 And the LORD God said unto the user, What [is]
         this [that] thou hast done? And the user
         said, The Gates beguiled me, and I did install.
    1.32 And the LORD God said unto the Gates, Because
         thou hast done this, thou [art] richest
         above all humans:
    1.33 And I will put enmity between thee and the user,
         and between thy seed and her seed; and live by
         selling windows.
    1.34 Unto the user he said, windows will eat up all
         your resources; and you will always use programs
         with bugs; and thy desire [shall be] to thy
         programmer, and he shall rule over thee.
    1.35 And unto Programmer he said, Because thou hast
         hearkened unto the voice of thy client, and hast
         used of the windows, of which I commanded thee,
         saying, Thou shalt not use of it: you will allways
         have deadlines which you can't meet; your programs
         will always have bugs and debug [these]
         programs all the days of thy life;
    1.36 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the
         R&D; center, to join companies and debug programs.
    1.37 So he fired out the programmer; and he placed at
         the entrance of the R&D; center, login name and
         password, to keep programmer away.
    

    Note: Translated to English from a Malayalam poetry by unknown Author.

    Update: Updated the width of columns.


[Offer your reply]
The Temptations - My perl
on Aug 09, 2007 at 08:14
1 reply by Anonymous Monk
    I've got strictures on a cloudy day.
    When it's cold outside I've got the node of the day.
    I guess you'd say
    What can make me feel this way?
    My perl (my perl, my perl)
    Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

    I've got so many ways to do it, other's envy me.
    I've got a sweeter archive than the birds in the trees.
    I guess you'd say
    What can make me feel this way?
    My perl (my perl, my perl)
    Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

    Hey hey hey
    Hey hey hey
    Ooooh.

    I don't need no java, .net, or fame.
    I've got all the modules baby one man can claim.
    I guess you'd say
    What can make me feel this way?
    My perl (my perl, my perl)
    Talkin' 'bout my perl (my perl).

    I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
    with my perl.
    I've even got the node of the day
    with my perl.


[Offer your reply]
Old Perl Programmer Haiku
on Aug 06, 2007 at 08:37
1 reply by zentara
    Old Perl programmers
    never die, they just slowly
    iterate away
    

    I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. Cogito ergo sum a bum

[Offer your reply]
Hey, BJ 'Might' use perl.
on Aug 02, 2007 at 16:22
4 replies by Anonymous Monk
    Uptown Perl
    There's nothing like it in this download world
    I bet it's never made a hacker cry
    I bet it's never made him question why
    Im gonna try for an

    Uptown perl
    I'm sick of living in this dot NET world
    As long as anyone with geekness can
    And now they're looking for a Mainframe man
    That's not what I am

    And when we know what we want from our time
    That's when we'll wake up and make up our mind
    They'll see I'm not so rough Just because I'm in love with my

    Uptown perl
    You know it's different in the Microsoft world
    You can't just quickly write a simple script
    You'll just go crazy doing batch file flips
    And all that $h!t

    Uptown perl
    And I don't even have to buy my perl
    It's FREE & easy, when we get things done
    They'll understand the hacker I've become
    And it's all been fun

    And when its matching its patterns so fine
    There's more than one way to make it work on time
    They'll say I'm just so cool, & I'm no fool, cuz
    Im in love with my

    Uptown perl
    It's taken coding to a whole new world
    As long as anyone can click and type
    Just break away from all that VB hype
    Thats what I like

    Uptown perl, She's my uptown perl
    You know I'm in love With my uptown perl

[Offer your reply]
A curse for the driving range!
on Jun 16, 2007 at 21:52
2 replies by CountOlaf
    I curse ye, oh CodeGolf.com
    Why is that which is cooler,
    Also not that which is smaller?
    

[Offer your reply]
My bologna.pl
on Jun 06, 2007 at 15:42
2 replies by mjg
    Blame my co-worker Jim.
    #!/usr/bin/perl
    
    my %bologna = (
      firstname  => 'OSCAR',
      secondname => 'MAYER',
    );
    chomp foreach @days;
    read STDIN, $me, 3;
    print "Because ", values %bologna, " has a way with BOLOGNA\n"
      if $me eq 'why';
    

[Offer your reply]
Steal it
on Jun 02, 2007 at 03:21
2 replies by SubStack
    This is a poem I had lying around reformatted with some nasty one-liners and ascii art tossed in. Best viewed at 80 cols. Freedom isn't free, so steal it!
    #!/usr/bin/env perl
    print join " ",
         (qw{ want you my far                   if key see steal better
       eventually         Music,             copy-left them detected freed
    +om
      there's                math,         dissect sleeping               
    +theft
      and of       is all      will       There's  have      cracks       
    +   when
     Let         it censors     can      voice man I'll      were         
    +   devil
     way a                     I'd        forgiveness,                   t
    +hreatened
       Or in walls        past fold      stand permission me       Fair Di
    +sassemble
         by hold feel mind worse            creativity  they That Free  bo
    +nds
               constrict                     deal        science free
                                             time-shift
                                             verse choice
                                                bold,
                                  make       expresses
                                    under tax there   redirected
                                       as keeping      thing so-called
                                                         discourse impulsi
    +ve
                                 From sectioned, held shoulders others not
    + that take
                             repeal on who Freedom defy out, You'll one wi
    +th behind
                           you've errors So goes remix do we giants soluti
    +on to But
                            If demanding slumbers Is curtains leak isn't w
    +ake Never
                           then more the don't taxing slip need sell could
    + violent
                            so free, As for near be their I shape Personal
    +ity world
                             are never terribly uncorrected use been poetr
    +y silent
                                 holders A 17-year And information than co
    +ntainer
                                         Patent-free until just seek}, "\n
    +")[
    
    
             -1,112,                     138,36,                    154,-1
    +,
            40,0,110,                   136,66,-1,                40,0,14,
    +134
           ,87,-1,153,                 14,134,50,-1              ,-1,61,77
    +,44,
          14,-1,61,77,                44,68,-1,61,110           ,71,123,14
    +1,8,
        -1,43,110,71,123             ,141,57,-1,-1,29,         75,136,81,-
    +1,29,
       123,141,6,-1,29,75           ,136,65,-1,10,16,20       ,148,-1,-1,1
    +33,138
      ,126,46,123,31,-1,133        ,123,45,26,27,-1,133,     78,50,73,5,-1
    +,115,39
      ,144,125,74,-1,-1,151,       74,92,14,-1,151,74,92,   33,-1,151,58,7
    +4,-1,153
    ,39,74,92,69,-1,-1,111,15    ,122,155,98,109,-1,25,122 ,155,98,79,110,
    +136,-1,25,
    122,155,98,38  ,110,106,30,-1,52,30,20,6,-1  ,-1,60,101,147,84,76,-1  
    +,103,89,28
    ,102,142,13,     -1,97,127,49,110,17,12,-1     ,103,30,23,104,145,    
    + -1,-1,120
    ,143,56,123       ,34,100,123,116,-1,120,       55,42,53,123,130,     
    +   -1,120,
    71,39,64,           99,123,37,-1,112,1,           143,128,96,121      
    +     ,35,
    143,136              ,149,-1,-1,111,35             ,119,18,108,       
    +       -1,
    112,                   138,48,92,137,                86,-1,83,        
    +       137
    ,                        152,114,-1,                  103,35,         
    +        95
    
    ,123,80,150,           -1,-1,133,           4,138,129,           136,8
    +5,-1,
    133,      4,           150,   129           ,54    ,50           ,-1  
    + ,133
    ,138    ,90,           123,   139           ,21    ,2,           156, 
    +   -1,
    138,     24,             9,   117           ,66    ,-1           ,-1  
    +   ,83
    ,123    ,62            ,89,   63,           50,    -1,           83,  
    +   123
    ,135    ,110           ,123   ,3,           -1,    140           ,22  
    +  ,159
    ,123    ,154           ,-1,   60,           72,     93,          107  
    +  ,142
    ,-1,     -1,           103,   136           ,82    ,20,         113,  
    +   -1,
     51,     146           ,118   ,19           ,-1    ,138         ,32,  
    +   67,
    30,       20,105,30,-1,157,    20,11,-1,-1,153,      136,70,124,47,   
    +    -1,153
    ,          158,59,91,30,-1      ,35,160,41,88,        49,-1,94,118    
    +      ,132
    
    ,131,7,30,-1,-1]
    
    

[Offer your reply]
Proporzione Divina
on May 29, 2007 at 15:09
4 replies by blazar

[Offer your reply]
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    You've just spilled something on your tie at lunch... Do you:

    Leave the tie on
    Take the tie off
    Ignore it since your tie is so ugly no one will notice
    Ignore it since it makes your tie look better
    Accessorize the stain by covering it with a band-aid
    Put on the spare tie from the bottom drawer
    Go buy a spare tie for the bottom drawer
    Improvise a new tie out of office supplies
    Ties? We don't need no steenking ties!
    I'm personally bringing back the Nehru collar look (since Keanu killed it)
    Be thankful that it was only a hard copy of your source code

    Results (321 votes), past polls